First, listen to this one the whole way through (monologue starts about 1min in):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHyn2Rz0qhc

Then there’s the original:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0409900/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ochyO45Jb0g (the ending is a little strange)

Stepherly, I also wholeheartedly agree with validating another’s intentions and also one’s own. One of my new sayings is “Everyone is mostly right”, which I think is part of what you’re saying here, at least as far as their intentions go. I think starting from there gets the dual benefits of 1) insight into where the other person is coming from and 2) what *works* about the current/suggested situation that needs to be preserved in any new plan.

Thanks for your comments guys!

• “I believe in you and your intentions are good.”

• ”I believe in myself and value my intentions.”

Maybe there is a difference between critique which looks cute and French, and criticism which sounds analytical and sometimes condemning. Critiquing ourselves could be joyful and humorous — but being critical to ourselves or others is kind of fucking rude, so let’s stop that.

In a structure of giving credit for doing something. Let’s take an example of going to the gym to exercise:

Out of a total 105/100 points awarded for total Chuck Norris experience at the gym, e.g.

8 hours of sleep prior to gym: 5/5 points
Had a great healthy and energizing breakfast: 5/5 points
Went to the gym: 50/50 points
Did a proper warm up: 5/5 points
Stretched muscles: 10/10 points
Worked on therapy for stabilizer muscles: 10/10 points
Nailed your sets: 10/10 points
New Personal best record: 5/5 points
Made eye contact with hot girl, got her number: 5/5 points
Total: 105/100 points, Chuck Norris status

OK so you decided that scoring 100 points every time is a little bit out of your level. Let’s take a look at what a more average situation might be.

5 hours of sleep prior to gym: 3/5 points
Skipped breakfast: 0/5 points
Went to the gym: 50/50 points
2 minute warm up: 2/5 points
Stretched for 2 minutes: 5/10 points
Skipped therapy: 0/10 points
Got through your sets: 10/10 points
No new records: 0/5 points
Avoided eye contact with hot girl on elliptical: 0/5 points
Total: 70/100 points, C Average

Now if I were to look at this situation, I could be critical about Average man’s score of 70/100. However, let’s put this into perspective of REAL AVERAGE man who fails to show up to the gym at all 0/50. That means that none of the other points would be available except for maybe the sleep and the breakfast. OK 10/100 points. MASSIVE FAIL.

The moral of this story is 2 fold. First, When giving love/feedback, make sure you give credit for people showing up. I think that gives people credit for not doing the opposite, which is not showing up, (not attending your party, not going to the gym, not saying hi to the hot chick). Putting yourself out there on the line is half the battle. Give whole and hearty credit and encouragement to support that which matters the most. Once that has been established and genuinely communicated, part 2 is when we can go back to the rubric to see where the next set of major points could be won, with easy investment. In our case here, adding therapy or breakfast back in would be the easiest things to improve upon. That would take our gym goer straight back into the 85 range or B range. Not bad improvement.

And this is my take on applying “Loving from Zero.” Next time around, what to do when you get past showing up all the time. Tales of the average employee who show up, was printer toners, and just don’t add much value, or at least comic relief.